I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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