he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
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