She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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