I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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