This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
did i just pee glitter
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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