tell your sister to shave her snatch
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
