Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
