So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
