google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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