I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
