Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
BRING THE BAGELS
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
