i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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