all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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