May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
