Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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