I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
