just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
