Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize