Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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