I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
