my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
