a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
