wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
