Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i will never coherently bang her
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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