you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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