woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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