PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
