I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
