Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
