We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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