we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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