Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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