if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Alive.
So much puke
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
