Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
there is glitter all over my balls
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