1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize