question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
