y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
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