I just made out with a guy for $7.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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