she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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