Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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