she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
