Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
