Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
