The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
