i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
please come you make the beer taste better
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
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he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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