I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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