i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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