Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
