I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
