You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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