What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
