I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
