don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
