Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
