its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
