You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
