did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
