Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
