i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
