I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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