dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
