It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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