Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
