I just made out with a guy for $7.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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