There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize