You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
