im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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