my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When did angry sex become our thing?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
