I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
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we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
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you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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