Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
