Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize